on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
