she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
