Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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