I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
