I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
