omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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