I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
