Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
