I cockslap morals
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
