I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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