You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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