Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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