I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
