It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She even gives head with a lisp.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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