Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
