they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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