So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
