remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
