one two three fourrrrnication!
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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