I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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