My hand turned me down
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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