I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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