I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
