Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
