wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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