matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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