Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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