she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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