toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
