What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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