I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
All the doctor said was why
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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