Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
