Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Hippo gnu deer
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
