Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
