just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
