Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
