so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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