okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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