what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
