he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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