the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
