I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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