she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
