I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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