Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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