Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
All the doctor said was why
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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