is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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