The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
