I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
