This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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