I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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