My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
