If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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