I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
