I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
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