maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
