so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
We need to rekindle our bromance
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
