This is not my ceiling
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize