If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
