That's intense
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
