Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
