Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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